It's been three months since last time and prior to that seven(!) that I've waited for this.
This weekend will be the best ever!!
torsdag 22 oktober 2015
onsdag 21 oktober 2015
Journey
It's been quite a while since I posted last time and a lot has happened since. But I realized that on the outside it may not seem like it has, more than that I moved across the globe to shovel shit and horse around (literally).
To a bystander what I portray on social media is that one, I moved to Canada. Two, I quit university to work with my hobby. Three, nope, no Prince Charming in sight, I keep to my horses because they don't break hearts like boys do.
But the journey from graduating upper high school (Gymnasiet) to where I am today has been a long and rocky road of self doubt, heart break, not only my own but others too, and self neglect. I lost myself very early in my teens and have struggled to find a place. Not geographically, but an inner peace more to say, where I feel like I can find my path through life, not making decisions based on fear or looking for acceptance ton fit in. But for my own well being.
Dropping off university was nothing I ever planned or saw myself doing (not that one plans to drop out) but I was at a breaking point in my life where I had buried myself in workloads that were too much for any person to handle. It lead me to cut off all the things that had turned this merry-go-round called life into a fearful roller coaster. All things accept one. The horses.
When I see friends and loved ones from years back getting married, having children and doing grown up things that, in the moment of the news, I wish I could have lead that same life. But that passes quickly when I look at where I stand now.
I moved across the world. Knowing not a single soul where I went.
I left all the comforts of what was familiar and plunged into the unknown.
I met new people who has thought me so much about myself.
I work at a high level dressage training facility and Canada's biggest semen importer, working with horses and clients I could have only dreamed of.
I see how I've risen above the heartbreaking phrase "Horses will never give you a career" that I grew up having chanted to me. I see that I was down right badass brave, leaving home to pursue a dream I've had struck down all my life.
And then I don't wish I had lead another life than this. I do not envy the life of people from my past or present, I do not wish I had settled with what was available.
I do not wish to have what I have not.
I live my dream. It's not a walk in the park, it's an extended trot across the diagonal, a canter across the grassfields, a walk under the maple leaf canopy and also in the tack room cleaning bridles, in the stalls mucking manure, brooming down cobwebs in the barn and harrowing the arenas, among many other things.
I dreamed to dare. But I no longer dare to dream. I make it my reality instead.
lördag 20 december 2014
A spoon full of sugar, Chistmas parties and sore butts
The last couple of weeks have been hectic, fun and just amazing! The Nations, as we refer ourselves to our originating countries, have become even closer and it's just great that we're turning in to this little barn family.
Today is the day of the annual Queenswood Christmas Party and we will be at a place called Dows Lake. If we're lucky the canal is open for skating but since we had some what of a heat wave this last week (only 0 degrees, yay!) it's probably not. Bummer! Although the last couple of days were pretty normal for this season with temperatures around -10. And yes, it's getting colder!
Today is also my day off! Can't decide whether I should wear a black laced cocktail dress, a midnight blue maxi dress or maybe my pink jeans with a cute top tonight. I've learnt that the fashion here in Canada, at least in Ottawa, is waaaay more laid back than back in Sweden. It's nice that you don't have to put such an effort in to your looks for a night out (if done so you might get some inappropriate suggestions...) but on the other hand I brought the fancy party outfits. That's another bummer!
This last week has brought me to my knees. Happily though but yet, I'm crippled!! I've been trilled by our barn manager and trainers until the point of madness. It's in a good way since I'm improving my riding skills a lot and since they pinpointed what my issue is I've started riding in a completely different way with my body. I have for most of my equestrian life/career/what ever I should call it, had the perception that when working with the horses movements you should imagine how your lower spine detaches from your pelvis. This mindset along with that I've been taught to never have tension in my gluteus muscles have made me fork up on my pelvis and torturing my back by using it as a shock-absorber.
The tension in my gluteus is some what necessary since i have to SIT on my butt (for obvious reasons lol) and by accepting that this tension is not a tension but a compression of the muscles my back is straightened and the tension I've felt in my arms have been released. And by NOT forking up on my pelvis my seat is more inviting for the horse to move forward towards the bit and I'm using my abdomen to follow the movements of the horse. All of this makes sense to most riders and for me this has been nothing but obvious but since I've had this voice in the back of my head forbidding me to feel any sort of muscle activity in my glutes I couldn't move towards that perfect vertical seat we equestrians stride for. But I'm on my way, reprogramming my body and loving every second of it!
Today is the day of the annual Queenswood Christmas Party and we will be at a place called Dows Lake. If we're lucky the canal is open for skating but since we had some what of a heat wave this last week (only 0 degrees, yay!) it's probably not. Bummer! Although the last couple of days were pretty normal for this season with temperatures around -10. And yes, it's getting colder!
Today is also my day off! Can't decide whether I should wear a black laced cocktail dress, a midnight blue maxi dress or maybe my pink jeans with a cute top tonight. I've learnt that the fashion here in Canada, at least in Ottawa, is waaaay more laid back than back in Sweden. It's nice that you don't have to put such an effort in to your looks for a night out (if done so you might get some inappropriate suggestions...) but on the other hand I brought the fancy party outfits. That's another bummer!
This last week has brought me to my knees. Happily though but yet, I'm crippled!! I've been trilled by our barn manager and trainers until the point of madness. It's in a good way since I'm improving my riding skills a lot and since they pinpointed what my issue is I've started riding in a completely different way with my body. I have for most of my equestrian life/career/what ever I should call it, had the perception that when working with the horses movements you should imagine how your lower spine detaches from your pelvis. This mindset along with that I've been taught to never have tension in my gluteus muscles have made me fork up on my pelvis and torturing my back by using it as a shock-absorber.
The tension in my gluteus is some what necessary since i have to SIT on my butt (for obvious reasons lol) and by accepting that this tension is not a tension but a compression of the muscles my back is straightened and the tension I've felt in my arms have been released. And by NOT forking up on my pelvis my seat is more inviting for the horse to move forward towards the bit and I'm using my abdomen to follow the movements of the horse. All of this makes sense to most riders and for me this has been nothing but obvious but since I've had this voice in the back of my head forbidding me to feel any sort of muscle activity in my glutes I couldn't move towards that perfect vertical seat we equestrians stride for. But I'm on my way, reprogramming my body and loving every second of it!
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| Free lounging one of the poneys, Soleil, for a video |
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| The new arena to the right and the back of some of the barns and the indoor arena |
lördag 6 december 2014
And here comes a picture from a few nights ago
The picture doesn't really catch the Christmas feeling but here's a glimps of what the river looks like!fredag 5 december 2014
Ottawa by night and what friendship is
Today was totally crazy with a lot of horses to be tacked and walked for Simone and Oz along with cleaning the stalls, haying, graining and turning in and out the horses. And the day started off with a power outage which ended up that we made a game that gave points to whoever bumped into something (10 pts), scared a horse with ones shadow (20 pts), 10 extra if you lose it, 50 if you find it and then a bonus if you get yelled at for it.
We ended up mixing up a few (more like four) horses by lunch. Linden Ein (aka George) and Sapphire got mixed up AFTER we had discussed whether George was Farley or not, well apparently it was Farley and Sapphire we were discussing. And then Dresden and Clouseau got mixed up in their stalls. I mean, they're all brown with a dash of white? Canada (Sam), California (Tara) and Germany (Hanna) agrees, they're all brown with a dash of white and they all have four legs!
After that chaotic day Dessia picked us up and we went to downtown Ottawa to see the christmas lights. First we went to Parliament Hill to watch the lightings there, later we passed over Rideau Canal and could see all the lights that bordered the river and then we walked through Confederation Park. It was so beautiful! I've never considered myself a fan of christmas lights and decorations but I'm convinced. Christmas is awesome!
We went to Rideau Center as I needed to get to the Apple Store to change the darn battery on my iPhone. Gosh, I did NOT agree with my wallet in there... But I got two pairs of gloves and some makeup, since I left all my makeup in Sweden and wants to look somewhat human when not in the barn. While waiting for my phone to be repaired we went to eat Beaver Tails by the Bay. Best ever! Soooo good! It's like an over sized and ran over churro! We also, once again, conducted that 'Friendship is' to tell your friend she has Beaver Tail on her face (among many other things such as chocolate, peanut butter and so on).
Anyway, I'm absolutely in love with this city and I don't ever want to leave it! (Despite the cold)
I'll update with some pics as soon as my iPhone is restored!
xoxo
We ended up mixing up a few (more like four) horses by lunch. Linden Ein (aka George) and Sapphire got mixed up AFTER we had discussed whether George was Farley or not, well apparently it was Farley and Sapphire we were discussing. And then Dresden and Clouseau got mixed up in their stalls. I mean, they're all brown with a dash of white? Canada (Sam), California (Tara) and Germany (Hanna) agrees, they're all brown with a dash of white and they all have four legs!
After that chaotic day Dessia picked us up and we went to downtown Ottawa to see the christmas lights. First we went to Parliament Hill to watch the lightings there, later we passed over Rideau Canal and could see all the lights that bordered the river and then we walked through Confederation Park. It was so beautiful! I've never considered myself a fan of christmas lights and decorations but I'm convinced. Christmas is awesome!
We went to Rideau Center as I needed to get to the Apple Store to change the darn battery on my iPhone. Gosh, I did NOT agree with my wallet in there... But I got two pairs of gloves and some makeup, since I left all my makeup in Sweden and wants to look somewhat human when not in the barn. While waiting for my phone to be repaired we went to eat Beaver Tails by the Bay. Best ever! Soooo good! It's like an over sized and ran over churro! We also, once again, conducted that 'Friendship is' to tell your friend she has Beaver Tail on her face (among many other things such as chocolate, peanut butter and so on).
Anyway, I'm absolutely in love with this city and I don't ever want to leave it! (Despite the cold)
I'll update with some pics as soon as my iPhone is restored!
xoxo
lördag 29 november 2014
The Barn Watch!
Okay, so I'm getting some non-swedish speaking readers and therefor I am now switching my blog to english!
I got a bit jetlagged but 24 hours late. Woke up at 2.30 am and couldn't go back to sleep (horay..!)! Started with feeding the horses at 7 am and did some turnouts, cleaning stall and sweeping the barns as we had a client coming for one of the horses in the Hilton barn (where the top horses live), Donatelli. When the barn was swept and I'd ridden a pony called Strawberry (4 y o mare, strawberry roan) I groomed and platted Donatelli for clients arrival.
And before I knew it it was 4 pm and we were done for the day! Tonight we're going out to downtown Ottawa with the barn manager, Oz. He's like the best ever! So funny and easy going! Before he went home we goofed around and made up the "Barn Watch", a reference to Baywatch. Haha! We (or I) ran around the yard, flipping my hair in the (not so very existing) wind while in my tall boots (which all riders know that you can't really run in).
Well, that's abooooooot it for today. Ottawa awaits (after a shower.. or two).
Kisses!
I got a bit jetlagged but 24 hours late. Woke up at 2.30 am and couldn't go back to sleep (horay..!)! Started with feeding the horses at 7 am and did some turnouts, cleaning stall and sweeping the barns as we had a client coming for one of the horses in the Hilton barn (where the top horses live), Donatelli. When the barn was swept and I'd ridden a pony called Strawberry (4 y o mare, strawberry roan) I groomed and platted Donatelli for clients arrival.
And before I knew it it was 4 pm and we were done for the day! Tonight we're going out to downtown Ottawa with the barn manager, Oz. He's like the best ever! So funny and easy going! Before he went home we goofed around and made up the "Barn Watch", a reference to Baywatch. Haha! We (or I) ran around the yard, flipping my hair in the (not so very existing) wind while in my tall boots (which all riders know that you can't really run in).
Well, that's abooooooot it for today. Ottawa awaits (after a shower.. or two).
Kisses!
torsdag 27 november 2014
På planet!
Har lyckats slumra till lite under första filmen. Såg Maleficent! Men alltså apropå film! Jag har alltså en liten fjärrkontroll i ena armstödet och med den kan jag ringa, spela spel, så på film, serier och smsa! Killen bredvid mig skrattade åt mig när jag var helt blown away av detta tekniska under och han sa att det var en ganska omodern version av det här underhållningskonceptet. Jag tycker ändå att det har var fruktansvärt häftigt!
Vågade mig på att sätta i gång "the fault in our stars" risken är ju att jag kommer sitta och storböla här på planet! Men det ska vara en bra film så jag får väl passa på när jag har massa timmar att fördriva. Snart ska de mata oss här på planet, hoho! Är dunderhungrig!!!
En annan grej jag märkt är att alla är så jäkla trevliga!! Sociala och artiga och sjukt osvenska med andra ord. Jag gillar't som min fina Hubbe skulle sagt!
Outbound for Toronto
Sitter på Schippol Airport och har checkat in i vänthallen för flyget till Toronto. Spännande trots en kaotisk morgon med en försvunnen ridhjälm -.-.....
Flyget från Kastrup gick smidigt och jag satt och pratade med en vad jag tror var en läkare som kom från Aalborg, Danmark som jobbade med dementa och alzheimerspatienter (något sådant, hans engelska var lite knackig) och han skulle till en stad utanför Amsterdam, tror det var Uttrecht (det stavas inte alls så men uttalas något åt det hållet, så det så!). Tror minnsan att mamma var där med jobbet någon gång om jag inte minns fel.
Varför jag började prata med honom var för att han märkte att jag var lite.. orolig. När vi vände över Malmö och jag såg bron och stadens siluett så slog det mig att detta verkligen händer på riktigt... Och jag kommer inte att se varken bron eller Malmö eller ens den delen av vårt jordklot på många månader. Det var en överväldigande känsla som jag inte riktigt visste hur jag skulle hantera så jag satt och skruvade på mig, småmuttrade och drog de djupaste av suckar, varvat med lite smilande åt mig själv och min egen galenskap. Vilken jävla idé Jossan. Visst att jobba med hästar, men i Kanada? I sex månader? Nå väl, ska man göra något ska man göra det ordentligt, säger dem!
Nu är det 30 minuter kvar tills vi får gå ombord och jag sitter mest och tycker att planet vi ska flyga med är snorstort! Men man ska väl flyga stora flygplan om man ska flyga över stora hav, till stora länder med små flickor med ännu större drömmar ombord!
Landar 18.30 lokal tid i Ottawa men hinner kanske uppdatera er när jag mellanlandar i Toronto!
Ciao bellas, besos!
Flyget från Kastrup gick smidigt och jag satt och pratade med en vad jag tror var en läkare som kom från Aalborg, Danmark som jobbade med dementa och alzheimerspatienter (något sådant, hans engelska var lite knackig) och han skulle till en stad utanför Amsterdam, tror det var Uttrecht (det stavas inte alls så men uttalas något åt det hållet, så det så!). Tror minnsan att mamma var där med jobbet någon gång om jag inte minns fel.
Varför jag började prata med honom var för att han märkte att jag var lite.. orolig. När vi vände över Malmö och jag såg bron och stadens siluett så slog det mig att detta verkligen händer på riktigt... Och jag kommer inte att se varken bron eller Malmö eller ens den delen av vårt jordklot på många månader. Det var en överväldigande känsla som jag inte riktigt visste hur jag skulle hantera så jag satt och skruvade på mig, småmuttrade och drog de djupaste av suckar, varvat med lite smilande åt mig själv och min egen galenskap. Vilken jävla idé Jossan. Visst att jobba med hästar, men i Kanada? I sex månader? Nå väl, ska man göra något ska man göra det ordentligt, säger dem!
Nu är det 30 minuter kvar tills vi får gå ombord och jag sitter mest och tycker att planet vi ska flyga med är snorstort! Men man ska väl flyga stora flygplan om man ska flyga över stora hav, till stora länder med små flickor med ännu större drömmar ombord!
Landar 18.30 lokal tid i Ottawa men hinner kanske uppdatera er när jag mellanlandar i Toronto!
Ciao bellas, besos!
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